The Kaleidoscope

Are you a fan of the most popular bands in the world? Do you hear stories about fans who have crossed the line to get close to their favorite band? If so, read “I Was Born for This” by Alice Oseman. 

This novel is a motif for being in something bigger than yourself, finding your sense of belonging, and going through the struggles of growing up. The story is told from two different points of view: Angel Rahimi, a Muslim girl who goes to meet her online friend in London so that they can see their favorite band, The Ark, together, and Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, who is a biracial, gay, and transgender musician. Jimmy is one of the three members of the band, The Ark, and the lead singer. He started the band on YouTube with his two friends, Lister and Rowan. The book focuses on the group of teens and how their dreams of being rich, famous, and in love are more than what they had bargained for. The book also follows the theme of what happens when you cross paths with someone unexpectedly and believe in something for yourself and not for those around you. 

The novel starts out as Fereshteh, or as she calls herself on the internet. Angel is on her way to meet her friend, whom she has known for years on the internet but never met in person. Along with meeting her online best friend Juliet, she gets to see her favorite band, The Ark, after years of waiting. The best part of the trip is that she gets to meet them because Juliet got them tickets to go to the meet and greet. Jimmy is having a tough time believing how big the band has gotten. The band just had their first gig in the US, but his mental health is keeping him from enjoying the spotlight.

The characters go through a bunch of difficulties throughout the novel. Rowan, who is the lyricist and cello player for the band, must hide his girlfriend Bliss from the spotlight because the fans will harass her, as they want Rowan to be with his childhood best friend and band member Jimmy. This brings in an important conversation about how fans will ship real-life people together, as in the book, the fans of The Ark, including Angel and Juliet, ship Rowan and Jimmy together. In a part of the story, a photo is leaked of Jimmy and Rowan together after a party, cuddling while they sleep. It is later revealed that Lister, who had gotten super drunk, leaked the photo to the fans. Lister, who goes through alcohol abuse and depression at only eighteen during the novel, was the one who accidentally outed Jimmy to the fans after he took a picture of their luggage while they were packing for a gig, and the picture revealed Jimmy’s puberty blockers were visible when they were sixteen. 

Throughout the novel, Jimmy and Lister have a few moments when Lister kisses Jimmy before a gig and again after Jimmy runs away with Angel to his grandfather’s house. Jimmy suffers throughout the novel with anxiety, panic attacks, and paranoia and is coping with his grandmother’s death. His best friends are trying to help him cope, but Jimmy continues to struggle, even with the support of his friends. 

I could relate to Jimmy’s character in terms of his mental health. Throughout the novel, the reader sees Jimmy struggling with his anxiety, which is causing him not to continue performing on stage as he used to. I understand Jimmy’s anxiety because I too have anxiety that prevents me from doing certain things that I want to do.

Angle’s character is shown to be a massive fangirl who lives, breathes, and sleeps at The Ark. In the story, she talks about an argument that she had with her parents about missing her high school graduation ceremony, which is not an actual graduation like they have in the United States because the novel takes place in the United Kingdom. Her parents did not agree with her decision to miss the occasion just so she could go to London to see her favorite band. Angle only really cares about The Ark and what the band members are doing; she does not focus on the important things in life. Her friend Juliet does not want to talk about the band all the time, and Angle struggles with understanding why that is. 

What I really liked about the book is that it went deep into the dark side of being famous and all the pressure that can go on one person to impress their fans. I also liked all the different topics that were talked about throughout the story, like fandom culture, mental health struggles, finding who you want to be, the well-written LGBTQ+ storyline, and the characters struggling with their own identities. The book ends abruptly to allow the reader to figure out what the ending will be and what the characters will do next. The author will write a sequel to the novel. Add “I Was Born for This” to your list as your next book to read. 

Author’s Note: This review is also available on The Behrend Beacon and Wanderlust Wave.